


It All Comes Out

by DarkJediQueen



Series: Attraction [4]
Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Asexual!Spencer, Asexuality, Canon-Typical Violence, Established Relationship, M/M, Panromantic, Threat of Rape
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-09
Updated: 2020-08-09
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:06:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25801060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkJediQueen/pseuds/DarkJediQueen
Summary: Spencer is the best one to deal with the UnSub the team is dealing with. Aaron just wished that one of them could be with him when Spencer confronts her.
Relationships: Aaron Hotchner/Spencer Reid
Series: Attraction [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/341131
Comments: 22
Kudos: 181





	It All Comes Out

**Author's Note:**

> **Year** : Season 7 (2011)  
>  **Spoilers** : Up Through Season 7  
>  **Notes** : Everything I got, I got from [Asexuality Archive](http://www.asexualityarchive.com/) & [Asexuality.org](http://www.asexuality.org/).  
>  **Beta** : rivermoon1970

Spencer looked at the case file that was in front of him. He frowned and sort of tuned out those around him as they discussed a few things. He would replay the conversations through his head after he was done trying to figure out what he was figuring out. He knew there was something off.

A pat on his hand had Spencer looking up and pulling his mind to the forefront of what was going on around him. Aaron was standing up and looking at him while the rest of the team was as well. Spencer held up a finger and replayed the words said around him. He cocked his head to the side as he looked at the whiteboard he had been keeping up and running while they were on the case. The newest victim had not died like the rest, and they were able to get a bit more to stick in the profile. Spencer looked at the door to the room. It was shut. A couple of the beat cops had brought in a small group of drug users who had been very noisy.

"So, what has you in your head?" Rossi asked.

"Thinking. There is a piece of the puzzle that I can't...quite figure out." Spencer looked around for the typed up version of the interview that he and Prentiss had done with the victim. He couldn't see it. JJ handed it over, Spencer smiled at her and looked at the words. While his memory could recall them exactly, there was something about looking at them in real life that he liked. "Oh."

"Oh, what?" Morgan asked.

"She's asexual," Spencer said. He looked at the words. While they were odd, they were very close to what he thought about himself before he had fully accepted what he was. Before he learned that he didn't need to hide what he was. "She's an Asexual who either cannot accept it or she's too afraid of admitting that she's different, most likely due to outside pressure."

"Are you sure?" Prentiss asked. She looked at the board with the dumped bodies. "She's raping men and women."

"Then she's a bi-sexual. The package means little, but she doesn't choose her victims based on how they arouse her but instead just packages that others like. It's why the victimology is all over the place. She doesn't know what to do as far as what she wants, so she goes after the ones that others want."

"It fits," Rossi said.

Spencer felt a little pride at that.

"I agree. It does help with a few things that were stumping us. Good catch, Reid." Aaron laid a hand on Spencer's shoulder, but no one even looked weird at that because Aaron had done it long before they had got together. Spencer knew that the vacuum that their relationship was in was going to be exposed soon. Aaron wanted to tell the team since they were both a little more settled into their life with each other. Spencer agreed that it was nearing time, but he had a feeling this case was going to be it. It was going to come out during the case or after on the jet ride home. Spencer really had no care except that he wasn't sure that he wanted his sexuality to be the topic of discussion. Though that really didn't have to bring up his sexuality to tell the team that he and Aaron were in a relationship. No, he just needed to bide his time and ignore those questions.

"This does help, and it changes a lot of what we suspected about the UnSub," Rossi said.

"We need to work on figuring this all out and then deliver the profile."

Spencer spoke up when it was warranted, mostly to push the thoughts of what the team, even though open-minded, counteracted what they assumed about asexuals.

"You know a lot, Pretty Boy."

"I made no secret that my degree in Psychology was heavy in human sexuality." Spencer leaned a little more toward Morgan. "It's not my fault you've never picked up on that."

Morgan laughed and clapped Spencer on the back as he stood up to get a refill on coffee.

It was another two hours of hammering things out before Aaron declared them good to go on delivering the profile to the LEOs outside. Spencer kept himself closer to the door to the room they were using just in case they needed something from it. When Aaron was done talking to the Captain, he stepped in at the other end of the row of them. It was easy enough until the LEOs started to ask questions.

"How can she be asexual but still want to have sex?" the LEO looked more confused than anything else, which was good. It was something outside of their knowledge base, and Spencer would rather them ask questions.

"There are a lot of different types of asexuals, they fall on a spectrum, but the main basis is the lack of sexual attraction to people. They don't look at someone and think that they want to have sex. The urge to have sex is there for some of them, but they don't feel attracted just for sex. Most tend to take care of their sex drive alone as adding someone to the mix can be stressful."

"All asexuals are abnormal," one of the LEOs said.

Spencer looked toward him to see that it was Detective Libert. They had already had a few issues with him, and it was his case. Spencer didn't like him because he thought that Prentiss and JJ should want to have sex with him. He had already hit on JJ, who had brought up that she was in a relationship and had a kid. Prentiss had just flat turned him down and told Aaron. It was never good when LEOs tried to insert themselves that way with the people on the team. They were not here for hookups and sex, they were here to stop a vicious killer. Spencer had profiled him as a man who thought that being turned down meant that there was something wrong with the person turning him down. Spencer also figured that one day he would snap and kill someone who turned him down.

"They should be locked up and not be allowed around normal people."

"Why?" Spencer asked before anyone else on the team could say a single word. The tension in the room was getting more intense.

"They are wired wrong and look at what this one did!" Libert sounded like he was close to snapping already. "Every single one of them is a serial killer in the making."

Spencer barely held in his laugh at this stupid man. It was the only thing masking the enormous amount of anger that was swelling inside of him.

"So if a female doesn't like penetrative sex but identifies as heterosexual, there is something wrong with her? Many gay men do not like anal sex. Outside of being tormented for being asexual, which is why most people who are asexual do not come out as such, there is no difference between the number of serial killers for any of the various sexualities. 

"Heterosexual men and women have just as much chance of becoming serial killers as gay, bi, asexual, and any other sexuality. While we will not know until the UnSub is caught, my best guess based on studying killers is that she snapped after being told one too many times that she's a freak. She doesn't belong. There is something wrong with her. She probably does not have a single person in her life that has told her that what she is feeling is normal for her. She's a woman, so she should want sex, but only when men tell her that she should want sex. She has probably had sex and tried her hardest to be normal."

"How are you so sure that all asexuals are not serial killers in the making?" Libert asked.

Spencer looked around the room at the men and women who were standing around. Many looked very uncomfortable while the Captain looked very upset, not at the team but at Detective Libert.

"You see me standing here?" Spencer pointed at himself before he glanced at Libert and then around the room. He was going to fudge the truth a little as he didn't want to get into the discussion between pan and bi with a group of men and women who barely accepted asexual. "I catch serial killers of all sexualities. I've known since I was ten that I was asexual. I've never once thought of killing someone, and I have a healthy relationship with my partner, who is bisexual. I am biromantic. We have our ups and downs, but we work together to make the relationship good, just like all you married officers do. Now the Asexual aspect of this is to understand the UnSub better and why she snapped. She's raping men and women, so obviously she has no issues with bisexuality. It's what she feels she should be. Her victims are all over the map, so there is no way to try and bait her. I would probably put her as the same as me, biromantic."

There was nothing but silence.

"We have the UnSub's sketch from the living victim. We need to canvas around the areas that she has already struck, she's sticking to those two places. Don't confront her in public. Ask her to speak with you just a little away from people. We have no clue what her current mental faculties are," Aaron said.

It wasn't until the Captain was ushering the cops out to start their patrols that he realized what he did. He began to breathe a little harder as the full breadth of it entered his mind. He had come out to a group of strangers. He had told random people that he would never see again what he was. Men and women who were probably looking at him like they looked at the UnSub just because they shared one thing in common. Spencer waited until there was no one, but the team left in the bullpen before he made a mad dash for the room they had been using. He went right to the corner that allowed him to look outside. He could hear the team moving around him. Spencer glanced up to see JJ walking towards him, he flinched back and put himself more in the corner. Morgan followed, and Spencer just hunched in. He felt his breathing picking up significantly. Morgan stopped.

* * *

Aaron started toward Spencer and Morgan reached out to stop him. Aaron shrugged that off and got close to Spencer, cupping the back of his head a little awkwardly and then getting closer and wrapping an arm around his side to spread his hand over Spencer's stomach. Aaron was pretty sure that Spencer didn't notice that he was hyperventilating. Spencer allowed Aaron's hand to help settle him down, where he wasn't fighting against the hand that was rising and falling with his diaphragm.

There was no going back for Spencer, for Aaron. Aaron, though, would have done it again, what he was doing now, just to help Spencer settle down and not freak out even more.

Spencer took several minutes until his breathing finally settled down. He sighed, and his body relaxed fully. Aaron reached out and tipped his face up to where he was looking Spencer in the eye. Spencer looked a little scared.

"Are you okay?" Aaron asked.

Spencer nodded. He licked at his lips before frowning, and he smacked his tongue like his mouth was dry, and he was trying to get moisture in it. Aaron heard JJ behind him, he felt a bottle of water being tapped off of his elbow. He dropped his hand from Spencer's stomach and held his hand out. Aaron held the bottle out to Spencer, who looked like he was forcing his hands up to take the bottle and open it. He slowly drank but finished off the entire bottle.

"Sorry," Spencer said, and he was not meeting Aaron's eyes anymore.

"You have nothing to be sorry for, Reid," Morgan said.

Aaron saw him move to where Spencer could see him. Aaron ignored the other agent and turned Spencer's face just that little bit to where Spencer was looking him in the eye. "None of those officers are going to care. Even if they write it in a report, no one in the FBI is going to do a damned thing about an asexual agent. Hell, even if word spreads, the most that will happen is that women will find you more attractive as a friend. I mean, a man who doesn't look at them like sex walking is something that everyone wants."

Spencer laughed, and that was the whole reason Aaron had said what he did. Spencer opened his mouth and shut it again, his eyes darting to the team.

"None of the officers are going to figure that out either. These guys, it seems a Mack Truck has to hit them." Aaron turned to look at the team, Morgan and JJ looked confused while Prentiss snorted and Dave's jaw dropped a little. He looked from Aaron to Spencer and back again before shaking his head and smiling.

"Kid just admitted to the whole police force that he's sleeping with the boss and that he's asexual. When you go big kid, you go big." Dave stepped up, and Aaron frowned at him, but Dave just raised his hands like he was harmless. "Reid," Dave said, and he waited for Spencer's eyes to move toward him. It wasn't eye to eye, but it was as close as Dave was going to get. "You are one of the bravest men I know. Nothing will change that. Nothing about how you live your life will change that. Unless you start to kill people."

Spencer laughed again, and this time it was a little more natural. JJ was there behind Dave to take his place. She wrapped her arms around Spencer, pushing Aaron back from him with a smile on her face. Aaron let her have a moment with him.

"None of those officers are going to figure it out. Hell, we didn't until as Hotch said a Mack Truck hit us." JJ hugged Spencer again before pulling back. "If they think you are sleeping with anyone, it will be Prentiss, Morgan, or I. We are the three you have interacted with the most as well the ones who have actually touched you. No one is going to suspect it's Hotch."

"I know that. I still am kind of freaked out."

"You have every single right to be," Aaron said. He laid a hand on JJ's back to direct her away from Spencer.

"I've just never done that kind of thing before."

"Because the Detective wasn't just disrespecting you, he was calling you mentally unstable just because of your sexuality. And your mind probably took offense because in a way that man was calling Hotch unstable as well for being in a relationship with you. That probably got you more than the other. You can take abuse aimed at you but anyone you love...Well, you become a cougar protecting its young."

"Isn't a cougar a woman who goes after younger men? How am I a cougar?" Spencer was smiling as he said it.

"Ha, ha Doctor Reid," Prentiss said, but the room's tension was gone.

"We need to head out to join the others for a canvas," Aaron said as he looked at Dave and Morgan for a few seconds each. They nodded. "I want to say that you can stay here, Reid, but we need everyone in the field, and I know that you are capable, but if I leave you here with the maps, you'll go off and be vulnerable. I also don't want the force to think that you are weak. So, who do you want to be paired with?" Aaron had a reasonable idea that he knew precisely who Spencer was going to pick. It had little to do with what the officers thought about Spencer and his partner and more with the fact that it would give the officers pause when Spencer and JJ were seen paired together. Aaron knew they could both take care of themselves. He trusted them both.

Spencer looked up at the team, giving everyone a few seconds of thought each before he pulled JJ closer, kissing the top of her head. "I'll go with JJ. I'm taking the maps, though. There is something I'm just not seeing." Spencer frowned as he looked at the boards. He walked over to start to pull down his paperwork.

"Prentiss will go with you. We have two SUVs, and right now, I don't trust any single one of us with one of the LEOs. They are amped up with the want of justice for Officer Shaffer. He might have just been a beat cop patrolman, he was an officer with them, and they want justice. I don't want them trying to get us into a position to defend ourselves from them as well as the UnSub."

"Understood," Morgan and Prentiss said at the same time.

"Sure," Spencer said with his back to the room, taking down seemingly random papers. It was interesting, and it always was to Aaron how much Spencer trusted his own mind to make sure that he had what he needed. Spencer probably could not tell them a single reason he took those papers, but he knew he needed them. One part of Spencer's mind had put it together, it was just waiting for the rest of catch up.

Spencer listened with half an ear as Aaron gave them the location that he wanted the three of them to go to and help with canvassing. He was trying to figure out what he was missing, which was hard considering he was missing it. He followed the women out into the SUV and spread himself out into the backseat with maps around him, even using tape to tape them to the back of the two front seats. It was bugging him that they were missing something, and Spencer wasn't sure what it was.

"Shit," Spencer said nearly an hour later. JJ was just getting back into the SUV after stopping and talking to some people on a street corner. Spencer hunted for his phone in his messenger bag, but everything kept on moving around inside and keeping his phone from him.

"Spence?" JJ asked.

"Stop the SUV. Call Hotch." Spencer finally found his phone, but JJ was already ringing into Aaron.

"Hotchner," Aaron said. His tone said that he was driving and using the hands-free part.

"She's going after people in power. If she had stayed in the same kind of power, I would have seen it quicker. The shop worker was the shift leader, the restaurant manager, the flower shop owner, the charge nurse in the hospital, the head doctor for a department, and Patrolman Shaffer. We need to make sure that all of the officers that would be above him are protected."

"Including us," Rossi said.

"What?"

"She didn't get to kill Shaffer, so she's either going to go after him again or even someone who is a beat cop like him or going to go higher. Right now other than the chief of police for the city, who isn't in town, we are the highest. Unless she's jumping and she goes after the Mayor."

"Where's Morgan?" Prentiss asked.

"He's patrolling the college campus to see if anyone recognizes her. He's with Detective Ryan. Reid, call him, and make sure that he knows we are in the buddy system, and he's not to leave Detective Ryan's side for any reason. I'll make the Captain aware, and he can get it out to all cops in the city."

"You got it, Hotch," Spencer said, and he nodded for JJ to hang up the phone. Spencer started to dial Morgan, but then he heard Prentiss gasp. He looked up to see that there was a wreck. It looked like a big truck had rammed a slightly smaller truck. Spencer started to unbuckle when he saw the UnSub getting out of the bigger truck with a gun. "That's her."

"Yeah. What do you want to do?" Prentiss asked as she pulled the SUV to a stop.

Spencer dove into the backseat and pulled out his vest. He stripped off his upper body clothes, leaving the A-shirt on and putting the vest over that, he then put on his shirt and then his cloth vest on over the top. It looked a little tight, but he hoped that she didn't really notice it.

"I'm going out there. I have the best chance of talking her down. You two cover me and get a hold of Hotch." Spencer got out of the SUV before the woman could say a single thing to him. He walked slowly toward the other vehicles, and as soon as the woman saw him, she turned her gun to him. Spencer, though was looking at the person in the SUV. It was a detective that had been there for the start of the case, but his wife went into preterm labor and had been given time off. Detective Daniels was his name.

"Stop! Get into your car and leave," the woman said. Her hands on the gun were not shaking. She fully meant to kill Spencer if he didn't.

"Detective Daniels needs to see a doctor," Spencer said.

"I need him. I need to make sure. I'll find the person I need, but I have to make sure that he's not it."

"He's not going to be able to do anything," Spencer said. He lowered his hand and grabbed his credentials from his pocket. He showed them to her. "Why don't you let my co-workers over there get him and get him to safety, and you can keep me?"

"You are an FBI agent?"

"Yes, I am. I have been for a while. I'm a Supervisory Special Agent. Which is above normal Special Agents."

The way that she looked at him like she was hungry for him kind of scared Spencer. He felt his stomach knot up. He knew that people saw him, and there was an attraction. He knew that full well. He was a handsome man, pretty to others, like Morgan. The difference, though, was that when others looked at him, he didn't care. Aaron wanted him for more than his looks. There was an attraction of the mind, of the personality. Aaron loved him, and it made a lot of difference.

"Over here," she said as he pointed her gun to the truck's back cab.

Spencer nodded his agreement. It was an extended cab that allowed for room for a lot of storage or as she opened the door and waved Spencer in a makeshift bed. They now had the rape location. There had been fibers between the bodies that matched fibers from a blanket from a local store that sold to everyone in the city. That had been a dead end. Spencer climbed up into the back of the cab and settled on the far side of the truck. It was a good defensible position if she stayed down. Spencer knew that Aaron would take her out with a sniper shot if needed.

"Where is your gun?"

"Back in the SUV. We can settle this like adults, we don't need guns."

"This gun is the only thing keeping you here right now. I'm not getting rid of it until you do as I tell you to do." She looked him up and down, but Spencer could tell there was no attraction there. She felt nothing, and it was upsetting her. "Get naked."

"I can do that, but... what's your name? My name is Spencer."

"Marie."

"Oh, Marie is a lovely name. Well, Marie, if you really want to rape me to see if I'm your type, you are going to have to talk smart to me."

Marie looked at him like he was insane, which was funny to Spencer, given what they were doing at the moment.

"All I have to do is lick your cock once, and you'll get hard."

"My partner can't even get that to happen. I'm asexual like you, Marie, and I don't feel sexual attraction like that. I'm sure if you got down and sucked me for a very long time, I'd get hard enough to get my cock inside of you, but that would be a very long time, and your jaw would hurt."

"NO!" Marie lunged across the cab and brought the handle of the gun down on Spencer's head.

The pain shot across Spencer's head, and he closed his eyes and ducked down to make himself a smaller target. He felt the skin rip, and blood started to flow. A head wound bled a lot, he knew that, but it would make Marie's plan a lot harder as the pain stopped a lot of people from getting aroused. Spencer knew it was stupid, but he needed her to understand. He wanted to talk her down. The other option was that she was going to get killed.

"I knew I was asexual when I was ten. I knew it, yet it took me a while to understand and embrace it. I didn't ever feel that want of kissing girls on the cheek like other boys. I didn't pull their pigtails, even though I think that's a stupid way of showing affection. That's just asking men to hit women when they're older and making women think that it's okay to be hit to show affection."

"You're lying!" Marie waved the gun in Spencer's face, but her finger wasn't on the trigger. Spencer wasn't going to attempt to get the gun. He was pretty sure that he had a concussion. "You said you had a partner."

"Yes, he loves me."

"How can he love if you are asexual! No one is ever going to love someone who doesn't want sex."

"There is no reason to not love them. Sex isn't the showing of love. Sex is not needed to have a happy life, at least not for me. Sexual creatures are that way, yes, but there are ways of showing affection that not having sex is okay. We don't need to be afraid of sex. Is that what you've been told? That you have to have sex to be a woman? To have a good relationship? Whoever said that isn't someone you need to have around." Spencer saw a second SUV arrive, but it was Morgan and Rossi. Which was strange because there was no Aaron. He wondered if Rossi pulled him back to keep him from making a decision with Spencer's life on the line.

"Someone actually loves you?" Marie asked.

"Yes. I found a man who loves me. He invited me into his home and into the life of his son. He loves me for who I am, and when he found out I was asexual, that love didn't change. He's afraid of freaking me out, and he tries to deny himself sex. He was more scared than I was the first time he penetrated me." Spencer was really glad that he wasn't on comms. He really didn't need to be broadcasting his sex life to the world. He was already feeling a little weird, just telling her. "He was so freaked out on making it the best for me that he never got off. He loves me so much that when I'm the center of his attention, no matter what we are doing, I can't do anything but marvel at how much love he has for me. He is the best man in the world."

"What were you scared of? When you had sex?"

"That I wouldn't enjoy it at all. I mean, I love orgasms. I just...don't need someone else to make that orgasm happen. I didn't really enjoy it the last time that I had allowed someone to do that. It's different though if you love the person and they love you. His pleasure in the act is enough for me to do it when I am in the mood."

"Why did he have issues?"

"In the end, he was too focused on making it good for me that he wasn't able to orgasm. He'd been so scared of it being bad, and I'd never want to try it again that he had pretty much psyched himself out from coming."

"Have you tried again?"

"Not yet. We've done other things. I've given him a blow job. We've done mutual masturbation."

"Are you going to try again?"

"I hope so."

"You hope so?" Marie looked at Spencer with a look of confusion on her face. "You either will or you won't."

"Well, that depends on you." Spencer slumped into the side of the cab and kind of looked defeated. "I doubt I'll ever want sex again after what's going to happen here. I mean, I don't like sex all that much, but then to be raped, I don't think I could want sex after that. Or I'll underperform, and you'll kill me like the last victim."

"You said that he loves you. Do you love him?"

"Yes."

"He makes you have sex. He doesn't deserve you. You'll keep on doing it. I think it would be better if you didn't ever have to go back to him again. I'll free you."

Spencer closed his eyes as he knew that he had lost her. He wasn't sure what was wrong with her mentally if it was just from snapping or she had been abused. He couldn't, didn't figure it out in time, and he was going to die for it. Spencer didn't pray to a God or any Gods, really. He just sent a wish into the void that he really didn't want to leave Aaron and Jack.

The sound of glass breaking but no shot from the gun in front of him meant that Spencer knew exactly where Aaron was. The warm spray of blood was all over Spencer's face, and he didn't move until the door opened that the body was on the side of. Spencer slumped back into the cab's side, kind of on the door and kind of not.

"Clear!" Morgan yelled. There were a few seconds of silence, and then he spoke again. "He hasn't moved."

No one else had spoken, so that meant that the team was using comms.

"I wouldn't suggest it," Morgan said.

Spencer knew that he should say something. That he should do something, but he was kind of frozen. He had agreed to try and save the life of the officer that had been rammed into. There was the sound of the body being moved out of the truck then pictures were being taken. Spencer didn't move. He couldn't. No one said anything to him, and he just let whoever was cataloging the truck interior pull the blankets and everything from under him. A few minutes later, the truck door shut again. Spencer opened his eyes to see Aaron sitting there.

"Are you okay?" Aaron asked.

"I don't know."

"Dave had the parabolic mic on the truck. He is the only one who heard what was said. He told me when to take the shot. Why?"

"She was about to kill me to save me from your advances. From you deciding that you didn't like me as I was."

"I see. And how do you feel about that?"

"I don't know." Spencer finally looked around him. The blankets were gone to process evidence. The evidence didn't need to be as stringent as if the UnSub was alive. She was dead, and it was just making sure that they had the evidence needed to tell each victim's family that they had caught the killer. Aaron had a bag beside him. It was not the standard go-bag, but it was kind of like it.

Aaron opened up the bag, and Spencer saw that there were cleaning supplies in it. It was the one they used to clean themselves off after they fell into mud or like this got blood on them. "Can I?"

"Yes, please." Spencer closed his eyes and shuddered as Aaron touched him, even with the wet wipe between them he wanted more of that touch. He didn't want to get blood on Aaron, though. There was a knock at the door to the cab, and Spencer looked to see that it was JJ with something. Aaron opened the door and nodded his thanks before taking it. He set the bag down and then turned back to Spencer.

"It's a change of clothes. So how did the talk go with her about her asexuality?"

"Not the best, but she was too mentally fractured. I didn't want her to die, but I think maybe I might have made something worse, and death was the best."

"Why?" Aaron asked.

"I told her about our first time with penetration. She asked if we were going to try again. I told her that I hoped."

"Hoped?"

"I said I don't think I would want to have sex again if she had gone through with raping me. I think that when I said that it kind of broke her the rest of the way. She kind of lost it then."

"Close your eyes," Aaron said.

Spencer did, and he felt the wipe on his eyelids and even brushing through his lashes. Spencer didn't want to think about what he looked like. There was a reason that he was not looking down at his clothes.

"I'm going to cut your shirts off," Aaron said.

"Yeah. That's fine." Spencer kept his eyes closed as Aaron finished helping him clean up, including getting his pants and shoes off. He opened his eyes when There was a replacement pair as well as a new set of socks. Well, half of two new sets. One was green with orange polka dots, and the other was purple with orange stripes. It was as close to not matching as Aaron ever got when he bought socks for Spencer. Spencer liked it. The shoes were new as well. Bright pink Converse. "How long have you had these?"

"Just a few days. I shoved them into my go bag and forgot to take them out to give to you. So do you like them?"

"They are horrible together, and I love it."

"I'm glad. The team is keeping everyone away until you get dressed, but we can stay here as long or as short as you need to."

"I want out as soon as I can. I just don't want to go out naked."

"I don't want you to get out naked as well." Aaron smiled at him for a few seconds before touching his knee. "Here."

Spencer took the pants, put them on before putting on his socks, and then the shoes. He looked out to see that the coroner was already there. He could see the back of Morgan's head. Morgan was closest to the truck. Spencer nodded his head and started to scoot towards Aaron. Aaron got out first and held the door open. Spencer slid out of the truck and looked around. There were few LEOs around, and none of the ones that were antagonistic towards the UnSub and by default Spencer. No one really looked at them. They were all dealing with the crash between the trucks.

"Hey, Agent Reid. I've seen trained cops who have been working a while who had screamed like a girl when someone is shot in front of them by a high powered rifle and not knowing it was happening," one of the cops near them said.

Spencer didn't look at them at all and just focused on getting to the SUV. He knew he would have to be cleared to work again and was sidelined for now. He didn't fight it when he was ushered by Morgan into the SUV and then driven back to the hotel. He wanted to shower, even though he knew he was clean, Aaron had done an excellent job on that, he just wanted the warm water on his body.

* * *

Aaron wasn't sure what he was going to find when he got into the hotel room. He found Spencer curled in bed, though with Aaron's Kindle. The screen brightness was low enough that Aaron knew he was reading. A finger poked out from the blanket and swiped at the screen. Aaron shut the door loud enough that Spencer had to have heard him, but Spencer didn't react. Aaron changed into his sleep pants but didn't put on a shirt. He had taken a quick shower at the station before putting on a fresh outfit to come back to the hotel when they were done for the day. The rest of the team was blowing off some steam. It wasn't the end that they wanted, but it was the end that was the best given what they had.

The call for the shot was made by Dave. Aaron had made sure he heard nothing so that it couldn't come back on him. Aaron had covered their asses, lying about the start of the relationship, but then no one else needed to know about the time when Aaron still wasn't sure that they would make it. He knew that they would. He was happy, Spencer was happy. Spencer was happier in the relationship than Aaron, but given that Aaron understood Spencer better than anyone else in his life had up to this point. Aaron could understand him being happier. Aaron was slowly getting there as he adjusted to not stopping himself so much.

Spencer was still lying in bed reading. He still hadn't moved, but he had his finger out of the blankets now. Aaron walked around the bed and lifted the blankets to slide into the bed with Spencer. He got as close as he could, getting one arm under Spencer's head, replacing his pillow and the other around Spencer's middle, scooting Spencer back just a little more with it. Aaron buried his face into the hair that was on the back of Spencer's head and just breathed the scent of him. He was fresh from a shower, so he still smelled like Aaron liked that clean scent with a little bit of spice like his body wash and hair products. Aaron was still kind of amazed that he got matching on those. 

Aaron didn't break the silence, he just laid there and held Spencer under the blankets. Spencer read seventeen more pages before Aaron felt the Kindle being set down on the nightstand beside the bed. Spencer wiggled but said nothing, so Aaron loosened but didn't release the hold he had on him. Spencer rolled over in bed and scooted down to where he could bury his face in Aaron's chest. Aaron carded the hand that had been wrapped around his middle up into Spencer's hair. Aaron felt the first bit of tears but said nothing. He didn't tell Spencer that he didn't need to cry, he didn't tell him that he was stupid. He wasn't. He was emotional, and he was worn out. Spencer had a right to the feelings that he was feeling. He had a right to freak out that he could have been raped and could have died. Aaron could have lost him in a very permanent way or just lost what little trust they had built up on the sexual front. It wasn't just the trust that Spencer was building in Aaron for demanding sex but also Aaron's trust in himself that he wasn't pressuring Spencer. 

The thought of being raped when one was asexual was harrowing to Aaron. He knew what his own fears were on that front. Every man and woman that worked for law enforcement had those fears. They were trained to stop it, but training only went so far. 

After letting Spencer cry for a while, Aaron rolled them to where Spencer was on top of him, and Aaron could pull the blankets up more, wrapping Spencer tighter in them and wrapping him more with his arms. The crying wasn't hard, it was just there like a slow leak of emotions instead of a giant outpouring. As Spencer started to drift off to sleep, Aaron changed from holding him with both arms to just using one and using the other to rub up and down Spencer's spine. 

Aaron just laid there, waiting for Spencer to wake up again. It wasn't long, Aaron estimated about an hour. Spencer stretched a little before he started to fully move, Aaron had got used to that already, with the times they slept in the same bed. Spencer turned his head and pushed up to where he was on his elbows above Aaron. There was a strange look on his face before he ducked to place a kiss on Aaron's lips. Aaron waited to see if Spencer tried to turn it to more, but he just pressed their lips together and hummed a little. 

"Thank you," Spencer said when he pulled back.

"You're welcome. I'll always hold you when you need it." Aaron knew that Spencer was talking about more than the holding, but he didn't want to bring it up if Spencer didn't either. 

"And for letting me get out my emotions. I know you are still going to make me get cleared again before you take me out into the field, but being able to do what I felt I needed to be helped a lot."

"I don't hold to the 'men don't cry' shit. Men and women all have the same emotions. I've seen enough men snapping to know that they need to let out those emotions in a good way, and maybe they wouldn't snap."

"I agree, but until society sees the full ramifications, there is little that we can do." Spencer sat up to where he was on Aaron's thighs. He was dressed in sleep pants and no shirt, just like Aaron. Their normal for sleeping in the same bed. It told Aaron everything that he needed to know about what Spencer wanted. "I'm hungry."

"Well, there is no room service this late here. So we will have to get dressed to go and get food." Aaron hadn't eaten much in the way of dinner, his nerves were too shot, and he would not be shocked if Spencer was the same way. 

"I can do that. I saw a twenty-four-hour place down the road. Probably to service the station that is down the block." 

"It could be." Aaron sat up and pulled Spencer close to kiss him. He kept it just as light as Spencer had before. Spencer was precious; he wasn't fragile. Aaron knew this because he knew how hard a spine he had. Aaron loved that Spencer allowed him to see him when he was weak. He was glad that he got to see his lover at his most vulnerable moments. Aaron hated that a lot of them had to do with the job. 

Spencer pulled out of the kiss, his cheeks a little red. Aaron looked down to see that he was a little hard; his pants were tenting out a little. Aaron buried his fingers into Spencer's hair and pulled him down with him to where Spencer's cock was pressed into Aaron's. Aaron didn't think that he was going to get hard at all, but if Spencer wanted this, Aaron would give it. Spencer looked at Aaron for a few seconds before he pushed into Aaron with his groin. Aaron reached up to cup the sides of Spencer's face, but Spencer pushed himself up and out of the hold to grab Aaron's hands. Spencer slowly moved to where he was pressing Aaron's hands down into the bed, holding them right where he seemed to want them. 

Aaron pushed up with his hips, rocking into Spencer and making him close his eyes. Aaron kept up with the rocking, meeting Spencer thrust for thrust. It wasn't hard or fast, it was soft and gentle, and Aaron could see the pleasure that was all over Spencer's body. Spencer shuddered as he came between them. Aaron pushed against Spencer's hands and got up to where he could hold Spencer again. Aaron felt that his cock was a little interested in everything, so he grabbed Spencer's ass and kept on rocking into him. Using his thigh as a pressure point instead of his sensitive groin. Spencer groaned as Aaron's thrusting lost a little traction and did rub into his cock, but he didn't jerk out of the hold. Aaron felt Spencer kissing his neck a few times before he nipped once. 

"You are playing with fire," Aaron warned before he turned his head quick enough to catch Spencer's throat and leave a mark with a nip. 

"I like it when you burn me." 

"Yeah?" Aaron asked as he found purchase with his teeth again just a little distance from the first. 

"Yes." 

"Good." Aaron used his hand on Spencer's ass to pull Spencer into him how fast and hard he wanted. Spencer's orgasm might have been slow and soft, but Aaron wanted harder and faster. Aaron trailed his other hand up Spencer's back before grabbing the base of his neck to use it to tip his head back. Spencer moved how he wanted and arched his chest up, where Aaron could find his nipple with ease. 

"Shit," Spencer breathed as his hips thrust into Aaron, and Aaron realized that he was hard again. His body was really enjoying being played with it seemed. 

Spencer had never got hard twice like that. Usually, he got one orgasm and was really happy. Aaron was glad that he was, though. Aaron wanted to tip Spencer onto his back, but he didn't want Spencer freaking out. He nipped up Spencer's neck and pressed a kiss to his ear's base before he started to speak into it.

"I want you in my bed forever, Spencer. Right here, as long as you want. I want to wake up with you in my bed every night that I can have you. I want you with Jack and me forever." 

"You want me to move in with you?" Spencer asked. 

"Yes. Jack's asked me twice now. There is, of course, plenty of room in the house."

"Yes, I know there is. I noticed that when you bought it. Room enough for me and my things, like there is a hole that needs to be filled that you were afraid to even put something in temporarily." Spencer smiled down at him before he gripped Aaron's chin and held his face close to his before he kissed him. He ground down into Aaron just a little harder, the kiss turning from a press of lips to a tangle of tongues. 

Nothing else was said as they rocked together. Aaron came, burying his cry of passion into Spencer's neck as Spencer did the same. It was always so damned good, feeling that panting breath on his neck as Spencer came. It was enough, it really was. Aaron was finding that he liked this nearly as much as he used to like penetrative sex. He didn't mind not having it. There were plenty of things that were just as, or sometimes even more intimate, that they could do. Aaron loved waking up with Spencer's mouth wrapped around his cock. He loved waking up and just subtly thrusting into Spencer's body until he spilled between them. It was all so good that he didn't think that he was missing anything at all. Like Spencer said, there were men who didn't like penetrative sex. Aaron didn't think that they would never do it, but he wasn't going to bring it up until Spencer did, more of his own want of not needing it than anything else. 

"Sticky," Spencer said after several minutes of just kissing. 

"Guess we are going to have to shower before we go and find food."

"Yeah," Spencer said. 

Aaron heard his phone chime, and he frowned before he moved to find it where he had tossed it on the nightstand. He found it kind of behind the lamp. Spencer was still in his lap, not seeming to want to get up. Spencer was a little clingy, and Aaron was okay with that. This was what made him happy.

"Huh," Aaron said as he typed back a response.

"What?"

"The team is all awake and hungry and wanted to see if we wanted to meet them at the diner."

"Oh, God, did they hear us?" Spencer was blushing a lot now as Aaron forced him back to where he could see his face. 

"No, we were quiet. I think that they just figured that if they weren't sleeping, neither were we. I texted them that we would shower and be there."

"Why would you tell them that?"

"Because I told them that I was going to be showering before bed. They aren't going to think that we are showering because of sex. Comfort yes, me having you in the shower to see that you are fine but not to get to fuck you." 

"Aaron," Spencer said, and he shoved at Aaron's shoulder. 

Aaron let go of Spencer even though he didn't want to. He was too worn out for carrying Spencer to the shower. Spencer slid off his lap but didn't go far before he held out his hand and waited for Aaron to take it. Spencer tugged on Aaron until they were all the way into the bathroom. Spencer turned on the shower to warm it up before he started to strip down. Aaron grabbed Spencer by his arms when Spencer was naked and pulled him to stand in front of him and look at the mirror. The bruises from Aaron's nips were very noticeable already. 

"See these?" Aaron asked as he raised his hand and traced the edges with his fingers, pressing in just enough to make Spencer gasp. 

"Yes," Spencer said, sounding a little leery. 

"Those tell everyone that you are claimed. It doesn't matter how often we have or don't have sex, you are mine, Spencer. I'm going to fight to keep you, fight to love you, right up to the point that you don't want me anymore. If you want, I'll let you go. I won't force you to stay when you don't want to, but I'll make sure that you understand that I love you, and I'll be here if you ever want to come back. You'll have a place in my heart and in my home forever. I love you for who are and not who I want you to be."

"I love you too," Spencer said. His eyes were locked onto Aaron's in the mirror, and Aaron could see the depth of emotion in them. He didn't think that Spencer would be leaving him anytime soon. He really hoped that Spencer never left him, but he had stopped believing in forever a long time ago. He thought they had what it took to make it, but only if they kept on talking, didn't push things down just to keep the peace. 

"Let's shower and get some food in us," Aaron said before dropping his head down to kiss Spencer's shoulder. 

An hour later, the team was gathered around a table, and there was no one else in the diner. There was a single table that had just enough chairs to hold them. It was huge and circular. It was water all around except for a cup of herbal hot tea for Spencer, who was leaning into Aaron like it was the only thing keeping him upright. Aaron just wrapped his arm around Spencer and held him close. Even when Aaron dropped kisses to the top of Spencer's head, the conversation didn't stop. 

It seemed like the team was happy for them, no matter what they hadn't been told until late in the game. JJ looked at Spencer like she was so proud of him, and Morgan looked at Aaron with a look that promised pain if he hurt Spencer. Aaron didn't care about that because he didn't plan on doing anything that would hurt Spencer. 

"So, Pretty Boy, how long before you and Hotch make a perfect little family?" Morgan asked. 

"He asked me to move in with him today. I said, yes. Or I think I did. I might have been a little distracted." 

"I guess you'd like some help moving your books?"

"Yes, please."

"Good. Then we can have a cookout to celebrate a true housewarming," Prentiss said. She raised up her water glass, and the rest of them did, Spencer his tea mug. "To family, no matter the make-up."

"Hear, hear," Aaron said with a smile on his face. He kissed the top of Spencer's head after he took a sip of his water. He looked at the family he had made and then down at Spencer for the family that he never thought he would have again. Spencer accepted him for who he was, and Aaron accepted Spencer for who he was. It was just the way it should be.

# The End

**Author's Note:**

> I write fanfiction for fun. It's a hobby and a stress relief. I refuse to stress over my writing. What you see is what you get. Errors, plot holes, and all. Thank you for reading my story! 
> 
> I can be found on MeWe [here](https://mewe.com/i/beccaqueen1), join me there and we can discuss my fics and whatnot. 


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